Stubborn Idealism
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Sudden Vacation
Date: Thu 7 April 2005
Time: 6:41 PM EDT
I'm going back to work tomorrow after taking a week off. From what I gathered while catching up on work emails today, it's the same old circus it was a week and a half ago. The work load is twice as much as it should be because a lot of what we do is deal with each others' mistakes. I expect to waste at least fifteen minutes tomorrow just looking for a screwdriver or a network crimper because the last person who used it didn't take ten seconds to put it back where it belongs.
If you've read the last few entries in this blog then you can probably tell I haven't been very happy. Last night I spent some time analysing my problems and came to the conclusion that the root of them all is that I lack self discipline. I let life's little problems accumulate instead of dealing with them, and their constant presence wears me down. Today I made a list of the issues I need to deal with and spent the whole day working on them. I'm going to try to make this a habit from now on (though from experience I know it will probably only last two or three weeks, and then I'll be back to my usual unhappy self).
Going Nowhere
Date: Thu 17 March 2005
Time: 12:37 PM EST
Today I had planned to go to the library and the grocery store and to do my laundry. I didn't do any of that, because I didn't care.
Four more days of work starting tomorrow. Four days of stressful work, three days of meaninglessness at home, four days of stressful work, three days of meaninglessness at home, four days of stressful work....
I have no future. There's no way out of this.
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